One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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