that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
