the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize