Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
