I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
