I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
