don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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