Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
