the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
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