I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize