note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize