why didn't you poke me back
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
