Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
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