did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
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