remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
