I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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