it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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