Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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