y did u give ur computer a hand job?
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
