You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
