i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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