Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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