My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize