I forgot how hot balto sounded
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
