apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
You pole danced in your parka.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize