i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
