Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
