All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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