what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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