if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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