Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
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