omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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