I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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