you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Randomize
