It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
My breasts were aching with rage.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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