I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
