I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
