At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
they need to just BURY HIM!
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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