This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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