I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
