you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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