I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
