Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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