I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
