Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
In America we eat man semen.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
i think my cat just said my name.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
