How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
3pm strippers are depressing
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
