butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
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