yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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