Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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