I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
