You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
