I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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