Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize
