He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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