Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
